When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Anything I wanted to.
Then we met.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'